What If We Just Stopped Being So Available?


Today’s norms of responsiveness are ridiculous. We shouldn’t apologize for failing to meet them or for not being available.

How To Stop Being Too Available

1) Get Lost For A Few Days

If you really wanna see people searching for you, You need to get lost for some time, Don’t be afraid of doing experiments.

If you want to sound interesting to people, and you want them to miss you, Then you must hide for a short time. You are not going to reply to any of the messages during these days. Become completely anonymous.

You are doing this because you want to show yourself as an important person, You are not always free, There are other things too in your life.

When you are done, Then just come back and appear like a surprise, It will boost your respect.

After all, Who doesn’t like surprises? Don’t be boring, Be a surpriser.

2) Be Unpredictable

Unpredictability is an art, Everyone doesn’t seem to be doing it, if you grab this art, you are gonna dominate others with this art.

If you reply the same way you are expected, if you act the same way you are expected, then it won’t make anyone think about you.

You have to make them think about you, That’s the goal, and you can do it by being unpredictable.

So that is why you need to change your attitude.

3) No, Big No

There are times when you don’t wanna do anything, When you are not ready to do something, and you are asked to do it?

And you are like, If I say no, probably he/she will leave me, I will be blamed for this.

That’s not gonna happen, You got to bring the guts of saying no When you want to say it. It’s your right, and if you are not given this right, you are hanging with the wrong people.

Saying No Requires Courage

Don’t keep the promises that you can’t deliver. Instead say no, And of course saying no requires you to show a little courage and to wipe out your fears.

And this courage will make you respectable, maybe not for the short term, but in long run, They will take you as a truthful person.

You will be taken as a straightforward person, and who doesn’t like this kind of person?

4) Act Busy

Don’t bee too available, Becuase people think you are free Without knowing you are making time for them.

No one will realize that you are making your time for them, you are free just for them. They will keep this misconception of you being free.

They will take you for granted, Whenever they need you, They will remember you, Without any hesitation, Without respecting your personal space.

Psychology finds out, When you are busy and not available to people, You will increase your demand.

5) Get a Hobby

Find a hobby, It will make you happy, and you will be less stressed.

If you don’t have anything else, You will keep thinking about people, that’s natural.

You need to find something that will replace this habit, and you can do it by getting a hobby. It will keep you busy, you won’t see the need of connecting to someone.

Get up and find a hobby, there will be something that you love, just find that thing and enjoy it.

Here is what you can do for the hobby part.

These are just examples, you can do anything that you love, but there must be a hobby for you. Keep yourself busy with your hobbies, and stop being too available.

6) Make Decision Power

Another most important thing, if you don’t want to be available all the time.

You must have the decision-making power, If your partner is the one that decides what needs to be done, Then it’s time to change the rule.

Have the ability to decide things, What we should do right now? When will we meet? Those are the things, that require your confidence to say.

So, The key thing is to Believe in yourself and act confidently in your decisions.


7) Schedule Your Day

Having a defined daily schedule will give you a sense of control, Which means you will focus more on what’s ahead then what happened in past, Which means you will focus on yourself, not other people. ( psychology finds out)

If you have a kind of pressure on you, Then there is no way you are gonna make yourself free for others at any cost. That’s where scheduling your day comes into play.

When you wake up in the morning and already have a list of things to complete, You won’t bother sending texts “Good morning”.

8) Less Presence On Social Media

Social Media causes depression.

Always posting on Facebook and Instagram about what you did today, and what you are gonna won’t make you look good in other’s eyes.

There was a time when I was too much active on Facebook, and I wanted to show every moment of mine to the world. I wanted people to know about me from a to z.

Sadly, I was losing respect more than gaining. I didn’t know that people don’t care, They don’t want to know what I do.

9) Learn To Stay Alone

Becuase at the end, Even our shadow leaves us in the darkest moments, So why won’t these people?

Enjoy your own company, think about yourself in moments when you are alone, be your own friend. Take time thinking about your future, and career.

Focus on your goals, Work on yourself, Don’t be someone that everyone has, Be limited edition, And stop being too available.

10) Decide Your Priorities

If you have more than 2 priorities, you have no priority at all.

What’s most important to you? probably you don’t know it, because you haven’t thought about it. People are more important to you than goals.

If I talk of myself, My blog is more important to me than everything else, I won’t spend my time-solving problems for the people when it’s time to write on my blog.

First, understand what’s more important? and when you think about it, You will notice that there way more things you are missing.

To you, the most important thing should be,

  • your future,
  • your goals,
  • and your career.

First, solve these headaches when you are done with them, then definitely you can solve the problems of people if you want.


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